This past Sunday, on Mother's Day, I lost my North Carolina flea market virginity when April took me to the Jamestown Flea Market in Morganton. I was going to write a witty little post on my observations but felt I should let the market and its natives speak for themselves...Here are a few snippits of what we overheard and saw while looking for deals and eating pork skins:
Large Woman #1: Oh my gawd! Isn't that the cutest little thang you have ever seen!
Large Woman #2: (Turns and reaches out to pet baby pot-bellied pig) He looks just like mah husband!
Large Woman #1: (wistfully) You said you was gonna buy me one but ya never did...
Sign Outside Entrance to Indoor Section:
ABSOLUTELY NO SNAKES ALLOWED INSIDE, NO EXCEPTIONS!
(I have no idea why a sign like this would be necessary unless I am underestimating how many fans of former WWF wrestler Jake "The Snake" Roberts enjoy wearing their boa constrictors to the flea market)
White Morganton Thug #1: (motions towards pork skins booth) Damn foo, these is the best shits in the world
White Morganton Thug #2: (ignores him, checking out flea market hotties)
White Morganton Thug #1: (more animatedly) YO BITCH, I SAID THESE SHITS WAS TASTY!
Sign for a combination lingerie/smoke shop:
THE SMOKING BEAVER...thongs, dream toys, pipes & tobacco accessories
Redneck mom: I ain't spending no $5 on that video game...
Spoiled redneck boy: But Momma you spent $8 at the Gamestop!
Redneck mom: Well this is the trade lot and you don't do that here!
April: Is this a concrete dog dish?
Me: I guess so...
Helpful Woman Selling Concrete Garden Gnomes: Your dog'll think twice if'n he decides to chew on it!
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: (hollers at me since I am wearing my beekeeping club hat) Hey you'uns raise bees?
Me: Yeah, my wife has a couple hives and they do a good job helping out my fruit trees.
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I got a few Asian fruit trees
Me: Asian fruit trees?
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I've got a lot of Asian everything around me...ever since I brought me a wife back from the war.
That is absolutely the best narrative of Jamestown flea market I have ever seen... As a long time resident of this area, Jamestown has and will always be the melting pot, and I'm not just talking about the hot pot of pork skins, of the western Piedmont... thank you for enlightening me again as to why I venture there maybe once a year... just to get a people fix and remind myself to not go back for 364 more days... thank you, thank you, thank you.. It was definitely a good laugh visualizing this. Having been there and seen that before makes it much easier to see these people in my head. I may have even seen these very people. Lord knows you can see anything and more than you care to there! LOL! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis story is missing several important answers to several looming questions: 1) did you buy the concrete dog dish; 2) what did you buy?; 3) why no pictures?
ReplyDeleteMaggie
We went...we saw...we will not be back....YIKES!
ReplyDelete