afternoon clouds over the orchard
werewolf moon
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
overheard in the Lowe's parking lot
Lowe's Worker Gal: So what did you think of that movie?
Lowe's Worker Dude: It was alright, I guess...But it shouldn't have been called "Robin Hood"...It should have been called the entire frickin history of England! Don't know why they had to have all them crusades to France in it...
Lowe's Worker Dude: It was alright, I guess...But it shouldn't have been called "Robin Hood"...It should have been called the entire frickin history of England! Don't know why they had to have all them crusades to France in it...
Lawnmower Man
It's been a good while since I threw a decent post up on here, so I decided to make amends tonight while I nurse a Modelo Especial. This evening was warm and beautiful, April and I gathered herbs and greens from the garden together and the chickens put themselves up in the coop. It helps to make up for the roller coaster ride the past couple of weeks have seemed like here on the farm. The ride began last Tuesday when I finally found a decent used lawn tractor for sale. I had been looking about a month for a good deal on a old riding mower, the search was complicated by my complete ignorance of how to tell if one was in good working order and my paranoia that whichever one I decided to buy would suffer a complete mechanical breakdown as soon as I brought it home. It would be easier to just break down and fork over upwards of $1000 to get a new one at Lowe's but now that I have been in Appalachia for almost a year, I have grown to despise the idea of purchasing anything new when you can get a used one fer cheap. So, I put out feelers with my new friends at the Lions Club and heard about a local dude who is known for buying broken down mowers, fixing em up and selling them at reasonable prices. The amazing thing is that this dude is legally blind, he's like the Stevie Wonder of lawnmower repair. I called him up, explained what I was looking for in terms of the steep terrain and how many acres I would be mowing and he told me he would holler when something appropriate came his way. On a rainy Tuesday afternoon, he rang to tell me he had an old Craftsman 46" cut with enough power to handle a plow and a snowblade. I headed over to his place, excited like a kid about to go downstairs on Christmas morning. When I pulled up his drive and laid eyes on the machine, my heart sank with disappointment. The machine was beat, each of the front tires leaned hard in a different direction like sullen teenage thugs against a corner store alley. The lights were busted out, the seat looked like it had been requisitioned from a Big Wheels and if it could be described in just one word that word would probably be rusty. I knew he had replaced the deck belt but after looking over the engine, it didn't look like he had done much else. Actually, he went and grabbed 2 quarts of oil and told me that since he didn't have time to change the oil on her I could have the oil for FREE to do it myself provided I pay $400 for the mower. I took it for a brief test mow which did little to quell my serious reservations but the thing did seem to work and my eagerness to mow was beginning to chip away at my common sense. Before I had really come to a decision, the blind dude exclaimed, "He'll take it!" and his assistant Chip had began setting up the ramps to push it into my truck bed. I wasn't too excited about bringing it home because I had no idea how I would get it back out of my truck since I didn't have any ramps of my own. My lack of excitement was compounded when we couldn't push the ancient 800lb behemoth far enough forward to actually close the tailgate because the deck was getting stuck on my wheel well. He must have been as determined to be rid of that mower as I was foolish, because I didn't argue when he produced some plastic twine he claimed could tow a truck and proceeded to tie the huge machine into the truck bed with string. In one of those weird dazes you find yourself in before withdrawing more money from the casino ATM or taking something out of the hotel minibar, I pulled out my wallet and counted out 4 crisp $100 bills and handed them to Stevie Wonder. He even let me borrow his ramps to unload it once I got home. As I pulled out of his driveway, I was already feeling pangs of regret. I actually stopped the truck and hopped out to ask if he was sure that his wonder twine would hold the weight of the mower driving up our steep driveway, of course it would he assured me. Driving home, God's hand must have been holding the mower in place ensuring no innocent lives would be lost with it flying out the back of the truck and through some poor bastard's windshield. Just as I rounded the second to last turn before our street, with a little too much speed, my luck ran out. The sound of super-strength twine snapping rang out like a gunshot and then the sickening, familiar crunch of sheet metal on metal as the Craftsman introduced itself to the front of my truck bed. I hopped out to survey the damage and was amazed that my back window had survived intact, I was finally able to close the tailgate now and adjusted the ramps to lock the mower in place as much as possible. When I finally got up our driveway and managed to unload the beast without crushing myself like a bug, I discovered it would not start. I would describe the many things I tried to remedy this or the many curses I uttered while doing them, but to make a long story a little shorter I just called the blind dude back and told him I wanted my money back. Despite his no money back guarantee, I got back my 4 Franklins and the cursed Craftsman was returned.
Despite this bummer of an introduction to buying a used mower, I was still looking forward to celebrating our 4th anniversary. We made a weekend of it: sushi dinner at Umi, hiking with the dogs, Carowinds, driving the Blue Ridge Parkway and grilling out on our porch. It was the most fun you can pack into 4 days without getting on a plane or breaking the law.
asparagus & goat cheese "sushi"
But after our special weekend was through, I still needed a mower. Our place was beginning to resemble an overgrown jungle with waist high weeds in our back orchard and I was sure snakes were beginning to lurk in that grass. A buddy of mine from our Master Gardener class called me to tell me that he had found a great deal on an old Lowe's mower while he was driving around. I called up the guy who was selling it and made arrangements to go check it out. This time I brought my buddy and his trailer to avoid repeating my errors in evaluation and transport of mowers. First impression was that this lawn tractor was in decent shape, started easily and could handle high weeds and inclines without any trouble during my test drive
25 years old and looking good
The best thing was that this dude was only asking $200 for a 46" cut, 18 hp Lowe's mower; although it was just about as old as I am. I closed the deal, brought it home and called April out to brag a little. After a lil spin to showoff, I shut off the mower to say goodbye to my friend who had let me borrow his trailer. When I got back on, my bubble burst. Turning the key produced the ineffective, grinding whine of a broken starter and I knew then I had found yet another deal that was too good to be true.
I called back the guy I had got it from and let him hear the sound it was making, he told me to bring it by the next morning. At his workshop, I learned how to de-assemble the engine to access the starter, replace a starter gear and bearing and put it all back together again. It wasn't easy but it wasn't like performing surgery either and I pick things up a lot better when I can watch someone do it then do it myself. I felt a little less mechanically useless as I towed the fixed up mower home to finally get at the grass in the back orchard. With a beer in one hand and the steering wheel in the other, I navigated my way around peach trees and groundhog holes chopping down the high stuff with ease and thinking what kind of moron would have though they could do this spread with a push mower (that would be me).
freshly mown peach orchard
After putting up the wheel horse for the night, I slept soundly dreaming of all the mowing tomorrow would bring. Until I woke up the nest day, tried to start my grey tractor and heard the same weak grinding and no starting I was becoming all to familiar with. This time, the difference was me and I knew what to do. I took it apart, found a loose connection to the battery, tightened things up and added an extra nut to keep it together with all the vibration. With crossed fingers, I choked the engine, turned the key and heard the soul satisfying roar of my beast coming to life. I headed off to the front clearing, dropped the blade to putting green level and began making wide circles around the pasture. And then the deck belt snapped...
otto investigates why the deck belt failed
Despite this bummer of an introduction to buying a used mower, I was still looking forward to celebrating our 4th anniversary. We made a weekend of it: sushi dinner at Umi, hiking with the dogs, Carowinds, driving the Blue Ridge Parkway and grilling out on our porch. It was the most fun you can pack into 4 days without getting on a plane or breaking the law.
asparagus & goat cheese "sushi"
But after our special weekend was through, I still needed a mower. Our place was beginning to resemble an overgrown jungle with waist high weeds in our back orchard and I was sure snakes were beginning to lurk in that grass. A buddy of mine from our Master Gardener class called me to tell me that he had found a great deal on an old Lowe's mower while he was driving around. I called up the guy who was selling it and made arrangements to go check it out. This time I brought my buddy and his trailer to avoid repeating my errors in evaluation and transport of mowers. First impression was that this lawn tractor was in decent shape, started easily and could handle high weeds and inclines without any trouble during my test drive
25 years old and looking good
The best thing was that this dude was only asking $200 for a 46" cut, 18 hp Lowe's mower; although it was just about as old as I am. I closed the deal, brought it home and called April out to brag a little. After a lil spin to showoff, I shut off the mower to say goodbye to my friend who had let me borrow his trailer. When I got back on, my bubble burst. Turning the key produced the ineffective, grinding whine of a broken starter and I knew then I had found yet another deal that was too good to be true.
I called back the guy I had got it from and let him hear the sound it was making, he told me to bring it by the next morning. At his workshop, I learned how to de-assemble the engine to access the starter, replace a starter gear and bearing and put it all back together again. It wasn't easy but it wasn't like performing surgery either and I pick things up a lot better when I can watch someone do it then do it myself. I felt a little less mechanically useless as I towed the fixed up mower home to finally get at the grass in the back orchard. With a beer in one hand and the steering wheel in the other, I navigated my way around peach trees and groundhog holes chopping down the high stuff with ease and thinking what kind of moron would have though they could do this spread with a push mower (that would be me).
freshly mown peach orchard
After putting up the wheel horse for the night, I slept soundly dreaming of all the mowing tomorrow would bring. Until I woke up the nest day, tried to start my grey tractor and heard the same weak grinding and no starting I was becoming all to familiar with. This time, the difference was me and I knew what to do. I took it apart, found a loose connection to the battery, tightened things up and added an extra nut to keep it together with all the vibration. With crossed fingers, I choked the engine, turned the key and heard the soul satisfying roar of my beast coming to life. I headed off to the front clearing, dropped the blade to putting green level and began making wide circles around the pasture. And then the deck belt snapped...
otto investigates why the deck belt failed
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
overheard at the Jamestown Flea Market
This past Sunday, on Mother's Day, I lost my North Carolina flea market virginity when April took me to the Jamestown Flea Market in Morganton. I was going to write a witty little post on my observations but felt I should let the market and its natives speak for themselves...Here are a few snippits of what we overheard and saw while looking for deals and eating pork skins:
Large Woman #1: Oh my gawd! Isn't that the cutest little thang you have ever seen!
Large Woman #2: (Turns and reaches out to pet baby pot-bellied pig) He looks just like mah husband!
Large Woman #1: (wistfully) You said you was gonna buy me one but ya never did...
Sign Outside Entrance to Indoor Section:
ABSOLUTELY NO SNAKES ALLOWED INSIDE, NO EXCEPTIONS!
(I have no idea why a sign like this would be necessary unless I am underestimating how many fans of former WWF wrestler Jake "The Snake" Roberts enjoy wearing their boa constrictors to the flea market)
White Morganton Thug #1: (motions towards pork skins booth) Damn foo, these is the best shits in the world
White Morganton Thug #2: (ignores him, checking out flea market hotties)
White Morganton Thug #1: (more animatedly) YO BITCH, I SAID THESE SHITS WAS TASTY!
Sign for a combination lingerie/smoke shop:
THE SMOKING BEAVER...thongs, dream toys, pipes & tobacco accessories
Redneck mom: I ain't spending no $5 on that video game...
Spoiled redneck boy: But Momma you spent $8 at the Gamestop!
Redneck mom: Well this is the trade lot and you don't do that here!
April: Is this a concrete dog dish?
Me: I guess so...
Helpful Woman Selling Concrete Garden Gnomes: Your dog'll think twice if'n he decides to chew on it!
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: (hollers at me since I am wearing my beekeeping club hat) Hey you'uns raise bees?
Me: Yeah, my wife has a couple hives and they do a good job helping out my fruit trees.
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I got a few Asian fruit trees
Me: Asian fruit trees?
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I've got a lot of Asian everything around me...ever since I brought me a wife back from the war.
Large Woman #1: Oh my gawd! Isn't that the cutest little thang you have ever seen!
Large Woman #2: (Turns and reaches out to pet baby pot-bellied pig) He looks just like mah husband!
Large Woman #1: (wistfully) You said you was gonna buy me one but ya never did...
Sign Outside Entrance to Indoor Section:
ABSOLUTELY NO SNAKES ALLOWED INSIDE, NO EXCEPTIONS!
(I have no idea why a sign like this would be necessary unless I am underestimating how many fans of former WWF wrestler Jake "The Snake" Roberts enjoy wearing their boa constrictors to the flea market)
White Morganton Thug #1: (motions towards pork skins booth) Damn foo, these is the best shits in the world
White Morganton Thug #2: (ignores him, checking out flea market hotties)
White Morganton Thug #1: (more animatedly) YO BITCH, I SAID THESE SHITS WAS TASTY!
Sign for a combination lingerie/smoke shop:
THE SMOKING BEAVER...thongs, dream toys, pipes & tobacco accessories
Redneck mom: I ain't spending no $5 on that video game...
Spoiled redneck boy: But Momma you spent $8 at the Gamestop!
Redneck mom: Well this is the trade lot and you don't do that here!
April: Is this a concrete dog dish?
Me: I guess so...
Helpful Woman Selling Concrete Garden Gnomes: Your dog'll think twice if'n he decides to chew on it!
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: (hollers at me since I am wearing my beekeeping club hat) Hey you'uns raise bees?
Me: Yeah, my wife has a couple hives and they do a good job helping out my fruit trees.
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I got a few Asian fruit trees
Me: Asian fruit trees?
Guy selling bamboo and ninja swords: I've got a lot of Asian everything around me...ever since I brought me a wife back from the war.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
how thinning fruit is like selling stuff
Here's an analogy between what I used to do and what I spend my days doing now. In sales, you cultivate relationships with accounts in hopes of closing deals and harvesting some commission loot. Your book of accounts may be small or large and it is up to the salesperson to decide how they will prioritize the attention they receive. Success or failure is usually a result of which accounts are carefully tended into fruition and which receive less attention if their harvest may be more difficult or less rewarding. Salespeople who go after the "low hanging fruit" are usually the most successful in my experience. You aren't supposed to tell management how you prioritize your account management by your desire to get paid, but it's not exactly a secret either. But if I had ever told my boss that in order to reach my sales goal, I would need to cut off contact with 90% of my accounts; not too sure that would have gone over well.
apple cluster
Now as to how this analogy relates to farming, my first time thinning fruit in our peach & apple orchard. I did the usual research before I got started; consulting the web, my master gardener manual and a couple books. I was stunned to discover I would need to remove 90% of the fruit off over 50 trees by hand. To put this in some perspective, an average peach or apple tree might have a cluster of 3 or 4 fruit buds every 4 inches or so along the branches. That needs to be thinned down to one single developing peach or apple every 8 inches. This is crucial because the weight of so much fruit will literally break branches off the tree and if all the fruit is left on the tree, the end result will be tiny undeveloped peaches and apples without the desired taste and sweetness.
peaches that will never meet our taste buds
When I had taken a field trip out to a local commercial orchard of over 5000 trees, I learned that the pros can thin a tree in about half an hour. With only 50 trees that should be a piece of cake right, maybe 25 hours of work, no big deal. Well that commercial orchard was comprised entirely of dwarf trees where you could reach the top of every tree on your tip toes, many of our trees are up to 20ft tall and would involve some type of monkey business in order to access the fruit that was not "low hanging." The first apple tree took me over 2 hours and I was beginning to envision branches overloaded with delicious fruit shearing off under their heavy load and laying in the orchard for only bugs to enjoy. I was extremely fortunate that our 25 or so cherry trees, many of which are way taller than 25ft, would not need to be thinned. Probably the toughest thing about thinning the fruit is deciding who gets to stay on the branch and who gets plucked off and tossed on the ground. Some choices are easy, the smallest fruits go, anything with worm holes goes, anything misshapen or likely to be damaged as it grows is gone. But what do you do when confronted with a cluster of 4 perfectly beautiful half dollar sized peaches?
fuzzy half dollar sized peaches
Yes, it is easy to become indecisive when holding the fate of fruit between your pruners. Sometimes you just have to clip em all and let God sort em out; to paraphrase a t-shirt my dad would never let me buy at the gun shows we went to. Working underneath a warm spring sun when the sky is clear Carolina blue is not a bad deal, especially with a German Shepherd and Blue Heeler to keep you company
the boys, der kaiser and hopalong
It does give you a lot of time to think though, as operating a set of pruners is not exactly rocket science. I've thought about everything from the guest list at my 9th birthday party to the cafeteria lunch menu in first grade to wondering what I would have thought about thinning fruit for 9 hours a day last year while sitting comfortably in my cubicle. Tomorrow, I'm headed over to a couple's land who I met searching for free horse manure. When I first pulled up their driveway they were doing something that looked like a cross between a renaissance fair and live action dungeons and dragons. Turns out they like to do medieval re-enacting, which I managed to sound very interested in while I shoveled up their precious horse dung into my pickup truck. They were interested in becoming more self-sufficient and had moved here to start a homestead just like April and I did. As we talked they brought up the idea of trading work days at each others places and that sounded like a pretty cool idea to me. When I heard that they had acquired 3 free goats this week and needed to expand to clear some land and expand their fenced pasture land, I knew it was time to ante up and put my muscles where my mouth was. So, I'll head over tomorrow morning to spend a day clearing some overgrown brush and pounding in fence posts. I like the idea of being neighborly but I don't really like any of my neighbors, so I try and do a little good with whoever I cross paths with. Their kid also looks a lot like I did in 4th grade; when I was chubby and thought glow in the dark high-top Keds were cool.
And as I finish this post about how thinning fruit is like selling stuff, tasting the results of our first attempt at homebrewing, I realize that they aren't really alike at all. Because now I really enjoy what I am doing, even if I am working for free.
rock stacking, not just for hippies...
apple cluster
Now as to how this analogy relates to farming, my first time thinning fruit in our peach & apple orchard. I did the usual research before I got started; consulting the web, my master gardener manual and a couple books. I was stunned to discover I would need to remove 90% of the fruit off over 50 trees by hand. To put this in some perspective, an average peach or apple tree might have a cluster of 3 or 4 fruit buds every 4 inches or so along the branches. That needs to be thinned down to one single developing peach or apple every 8 inches. This is crucial because the weight of so much fruit will literally break branches off the tree and if all the fruit is left on the tree, the end result will be tiny undeveloped peaches and apples without the desired taste and sweetness.
peaches that will never meet our taste buds
When I had taken a field trip out to a local commercial orchard of over 5000 trees, I learned that the pros can thin a tree in about half an hour. With only 50 trees that should be a piece of cake right, maybe 25 hours of work, no big deal. Well that commercial orchard was comprised entirely of dwarf trees where you could reach the top of every tree on your tip toes, many of our trees are up to 20ft tall and would involve some type of monkey business in order to access the fruit that was not "low hanging." The first apple tree took me over 2 hours and I was beginning to envision branches overloaded with delicious fruit shearing off under their heavy load and laying in the orchard for only bugs to enjoy. I was extremely fortunate that our 25 or so cherry trees, many of which are way taller than 25ft, would not need to be thinned. Probably the toughest thing about thinning the fruit is deciding who gets to stay on the branch and who gets plucked off and tossed on the ground. Some choices are easy, the smallest fruits go, anything with worm holes goes, anything misshapen or likely to be damaged as it grows is gone. But what do you do when confronted with a cluster of 4 perfectly beautiful half dollar sized peaches?
fuzzy half dollar sized peaches
Yes, it is easy to become indecisive when holding the fate of fruit between your pruners. Sometimes you just have to clip em all and let God sort em out; to paraphrase a t-shirt my dad would never let me buy at the gun shows we went to. Working underneath a warm spring sun when the sky is clear Carolina blue is not a bad deal, especially with a German Shepherd and Blue Heeler to keep you company
the boys, der kaiser and hopalong
It does give you a lot of time to think though, as operating a set of pruners is not exactly rocket science. I've thought about everything from the guest list at my 9th birthday party to the cafeteria lunch menu in first grade to wondering what I would have thought about thinning fruit for 9 hours a day last year while sitting comfortably in my cubicle. Tomorrow, I'm headed over to a couple's land who I met searching for free horse manure. When I first pulled up their driveway they were doing something that looked like a cross between a renaissance fair and live action dungeons and dragons. Turns out they like to do medieval re-enacting, which I managed to sound very interested in while I shoveled up their precious horse dung into my pickup truck. They were interested in becoming more self-sufficient and had moved here to start a homestead just like April and I did. As we talked they brought up the idea of trading work days at each others places and that sounded like a pretty cool idea to me. When I heard that they had acquired 3 free goats this week and needed to expand to clear some land and expand their fenced pasture land, I knew it was time to ante up and put my muscles where my mouth was. So, I'll head over tomorrow morning to spend a day clearing some overgrown brush and pounding in fence posts. I like the idea of being neighborly but I don't really like any of my neighbors, so I try and do a little good with whoever I cross paths with. Their kid also looks a lot like I did in 4th grade; when I was chubby and thought glow in the dark high-top Keds were cool.
And as I finish this post about how thinning fruit is like selling stuff, tasting the results of our first attempt at homebrewing, I realize that they aren't really alike at all. Because now I really enjoy what I am doing, even if I am working for free.
rock stacking, not just for hippies...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
thought for a sunday evening
“Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” - Colossians 3:23
Saturday, May 1, 2010
no rain
a silver brahma hen gives me an assist fertilizing the rosebushes
our first white rose of spring
chicken stampede
building the compost pile with fresh horse stuff
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