Overheard at the Diner (Fourth of July Weekend)

How Southern pronunciation defeats naming your Mexican child "Angel"
Waitress at the breakfast joint:
Have ya'll decided what you're gonna name your baby yet?
April:
Nope, we're still thinking on it. We've got a few ideas, but we want to see what she looks like first.
Waitress:
I work at the school during the week and we have this little Mexican boy named "Aw-Hell"
Aint't that the strangest thing to call someone? All the kids just keep saying his name over and over, "AW-HELL, AW-HELL"...till we have to tell em to stop. Some of the teachers do too...

Clearly a woman with a discerning palate
Lady in the booth across from us:
I likes me some fried squirrel real good, but I can't stand the taste of no squirrel gravy...

One of the few things I'm not too interested in a discount on...
New Billboard on 321N just past Kirby Mountain Rd:
DISCOUNT ZIP LINE!




On the most important meal of the day:
Disgruntled Dad gets up and goes to pay bill...
Mommy:
Daddy's mad cause you ordered a big breakfast and didn't eat a single bite. He's going to get you a box so you can eat it later.
Three year old boy:
I'm not going to be hungry today
Mommy:
Oh, I think you will be hungry... and if you don't eat it today we'll give it to you for breakfast tomorrow.
Three year old boy:
It's not going to be any good tomorrow
Mommy:
{Facepalm}